Monday, June 7, 2010
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Final Explanatory Piece
Women in the Arts: Kalamazoo Students Forgetting Stereotypes and Working for Themselves
Antonio became Antonia. Gonzalo became Gonzalia. Adrian became Adrienne. Most importantly, Prospero became Prospera. Kalamazoo College put on the usually male-dominated production of The Tempest, but instead replaced the males with females.
“The Tempest is Shakespeare's most male-heavy play and there's only one woman, Miranda, and she's not one of Shakespeare's strongest female roles. This means that suddenly we've created a world in which women hold positions of great power, and the tyrannical Prospero is now a strong female matriarch,” said Laura Fox the senior dramaturge for the play. For Fox, this play was a way to change power dynamics between men and women. She doesn’t believe that the play is necessarily categorized as a feminist play, but it certainly works to gain new aspects of power and ways to view the female role in society.
On Kalamazoo College’s campus, women not only outnumber men in the general student population, but especially in the arts. This seems stereotypical for many campuses—females being part of the artistic, emotional departments. But the female students on this campus are part of the arts because it is what they are devoted to. “There are more women than man in the arts on our campus. And of course, a number of us want the arts to produce positive images for feminism. That’s important. But also, we love the theater and other arts on campus, and stereotypes aren’t going to stop us from participating,” said Fox.
In the theater department, women are not only participating but also working for positions of power. All but one director this year has been female: Rhinoceros (Liza Bielby), Suddenly Last Summer (Michelle Myers), Tragedy: A Tragedy (Emilia LaPenta), The Tempest (Karen Berthel) and Three Days of Rain (Anna Simmons and Georgia Knapp). Fox feels that this play is not necessarily about breaking stereotypes. “I don’t think women should fight these stereotypical roles because if that’s what a woman is then that’s what a women is. I think women should resist being put into stereotypes by other people but there’s nothing wrong with just being who you are,” said Fox.
Along with Fox and the theater department, other such contributors to the arts have made impacts for the women on our campus. Rachel Silander, a senior music major, focused her entire Senior Individualized Project (SIP) on music and sexual taboos, starting with the oppression of women in the 1920’s. “I don’t necessarily consider myself to be an extreme feminist. But I wanted to cover musical theater where women empowered themselves. I think it helps them to take a stand on certain issues that they might not be able to take by speaking out about it,” said Silander.
Silander believes that women in the music department are working to create a sense of unity. “Music gives a sense of power for women. They can gain a lot of respect from it. With two women's singing groups on campus I think it also creates a sense of solidarity among women,” she said.
Not only are they working together within departments but with other departments as well. Silander, not a theater major, still mentioned The Tempest when describing examples of how artists are positively portraying women at Kalamazoo College. This is what Fox wanted—to be heard and to make an impact on anyone and everyone. “I know that feminists on campus don't necessarily feel that their voices are being heard. So maybe they should give our theatre a try,” exclaimed Fox.
Like Fox, Laura Marshall, a senior art major, feels that the arts are a good way for women to express themselves, whether feminist or not. “I don’t think women should be worried about falling into stereotypes by participating in the arts. I don’t identify myself as a feminist but I still focused my art project on female body issues, and I think that’s important too—for women that aren’t feminists to also make a statement, ” she said. “For my project, I took a series of photos in the dance studio focusing on the image of the dancer looking in the mirror because that is where a lot of dancers’ insecurities come from. It seems lately that dance has become more about personal image and less about the movements created by the body. With this series I wanted to take the attention away from the dancer’s physical appearance and focus on the gesture.”
One of the most current events that each female mentioned, that seeks to unify the campus and the women involved in our arts is The Tempest. “It's pretty exciting to be in the audience as a woman, then, and see these incredibly powerful and three-dimensional women onstage,” said Fox. This has not been the only attempt at a female play; the theater department has also put on an all-female Hamlet. Karen Berthel directed both plays. “I think that she has done a wonderful job of breaking down stereotypes in theater through her innovative casting strategies and gender-bending productions,” said Gail Griffin, a women’s studies professor. But Griffin does not think that breaking stereotypes is the main point. “I don’t think women should work against stereotypes. I don’t think any stereotyped group should concentrate on breaking stereotypes. It draws energy from the main imperative, which is to work toward your own vision in your own way. If you’re constantly thinking about stereotypes, you’re constantly focused on what others think about you and your group,” she said.
Like Griffin urges, all of these female artists and their work have one thing in common: their passion. Whether feminist or not, Marshall, Fox, Silander, and the rest of the women in the arts departments all work for the arts because it is what they enjoy doing. Acapella, Photography, Theater, Dancing, Anything: The women of Kalamazoo College certainly are not worrying about stereotypes. They are just doing what they love to do.
Antonio became Antonia. Gonzalo became Gonzalia. Adrian became Adrienne. Most importantly, Prospero became Prospera. Kalamazoo College put on the usually male-dominated production of The Tempest, but instead replaced the males with females.
“The Tempest is Shakespeare's most male-heavy play and there's only one woman, Miranda, and she's not one of Shakespeare's strongest female roles. This means that suddenly we've created a world in which women hold positions of great power, and the tyrannical Prospero is now a strong female matriarch,” said Laura Fox the senior dramaturge for the play. For Fox, this play was a way to change power dynamics between men and women. She doesn’t believe that the play is necessarily categorized as a feminist play, but it certainly works to gain new aspects of power and ways to view the female role in society.
On Kalamazoo College’s campus, women not only outnumber men in the general student population, but especially in the arts. This seems stereotypical for many campuses—females being part of the artistic, emotional departments. But the female students on this campus are part of the arts because it is what they are devoted to. “There are more women than man in the arts on our campus. And of course, a number of us want the arts to produce positive images for feminism. That’s important. But also, we love the theater and other arts on campus, and stereotypes aren’t going to stop us from participating,” said Fox.
In the theater department, women are not only participating but also working for positions of power. All but one director this year has been female: Rhinoceros (Liza Bielby), Suddenly Last Summer (Michelle Myers), Tragedy: A Tragedy (Emilia LaPenta), The Tempest (Karen Berthel) and Three Days of Rain (Anna Simmons and Georgia Knapp). Fox feels that this play is not necessarily about breaking stereotypes. “I don’t think women should fight these stereotypical roles because if that’s what a woman is then that’s what a women is. I think women should resist being put into stereotypes by other people but there’s nothing wrong with just being who you are,” said Fox.
Along with Fox and the theater department, other such contributors to the arts have made impacts for the women on our campus. Rachel Silander, a senior music major, focused her entire Senior Individualized Project (SIP) on music and sexual taboos, starting with the oppression of women in the 1920’s. “I don’t necessarily consider myself to be an extreme feminist. But I wanted to cover musical theater where women empowered themselves. I think it helps them to take a stand on certain issues that they might not be able to take by speaking out about it,” said Silander.
Silander believes that women in the music department are working to create a sense of unity. “Music gives a sense of power for women. They can gain a lot of respect from it. With two women's singing groups on campus I think it also creates a sense of solidarity among women,” she said.
Not only are they working together within departments but with other departments as well. Silander, not a theater major, still mentioned The Tempest when describing examples of how artists are positively portraying women at Kalamazoo College. This is what Fox wanted—to be heard and to make an impact on anyone and everyone. “I know that feminists on campus don't necessarily feel that their voices are being heard. So maybe they should give our theatre a try,” exclaimed Fox.
Like Fox, Laura Marshall, a senior art major, feels that the arts are a good way for women to express themselves, whether feminist or not. “I don’t think women should be worried about falling into stereotypes by participating in the arts. I don’t identify myself as a feminist but I still focused my art project on female body issues, and I think that’s important too—for women that aren’t feminists to also make a statement, ” she said. “For my project, I took a series of photos in the dance studio focusing on the image of the dancer looking in the mirror because that is where a lot of dancers’ insecurities come from. It seems lately that dance has become more about personal image and less about the movements created by the body. With this series I wanted to take the attention away from the dancer’s physical appearance and focus on the gesture.”
One of the most current events that each female mentioned, that seeks to unify the campus and the women involved in our arts is The Tempest. “It's pretty exciting to be in the audience as a woman, then, and see these incredibly powerful and three-dimensional women onstage,” said Fox. This has not been the only attempt at a female play; the theater department has also put on an all-female Hamlet. Karen Berthel directed both plays. “I think that she has done a wonderful job of breaking down stereotypes in theater through her innovative casting strategies and gender-bending productions,” said Gail Griffin, a women’s studies professor. But Griffin does not think that breaking stereotypes is the main point. “I don’t think women should work against stereotypes. I don’t think any stereotyped group should concentrate on breaking stereotypes. It draws energy from the main imperative, which is to work toward your own vision in your own way. If you’re constantly thinking about stereotypes, you’re constantly focused on what others think about you and your group,” she said.
Like Griffin urges, all of these female artists and their work have one thing in common: their passion. Whether feminist or not, Marshall, Fox, Silander, and the rest of the women in the arts departments all work for the arts because it is what they enjoy doing. Acapella, Photography, Theater, Dancing, Anything: The women of Kalamazoo College certainly are not worrying about stereotypes. They are just doing what they love to do.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Responses to Pieces (Week 10)
Response to Andrea’s “Lisa Desmonde Profile”
I liked how you opened the piece with the redundancy of the homes and then showed how Lisa’s home was different. But then I wanted to know more of why she was different and what those things meant to her? Was she the only Obama follower in the neighborhood? What does the reef represent? Why doesn’t she smoke/want smokers?
Although the structure of the quotes got confusing sometimes, I liked the voice that they had. They definitely helped to develop her character. The quotes were interesting and tied the piece together. But along with this, I think that descriptions of Lisa and her daughter both would be helpful in imagining the scene.
Something in general to work on is transitions. Some paragraphs made large jumps (paragraph two talks about her daughter in the last sentence, then jumps to a quote by Lisa at the beginning of paragraph 3), so reworking those would make it flow better.
Overall, I was a little bit confused about the final message. Was it about Lisa’s struggles in life—MS, welfare, etc? Problems with education? I see where it’s going though and I can really tell that you asked the right questions and got personal with your subject.
Response to Simona’s “A Course in Michigan’s Migrant Housing”
This was a really interesting piece—I never even realized how much of a problem this is all over Michigan. I liked your break-up of explanation, statistics, and quotes. One thing though, is that I don’t see some of the quotes as crucial to the piece. For example, if you want to use the dialogue between Megan and Elizabeth at the beginning, then I feel like they need to be fleshed out as characters a little bit more, instead of us just seeing them speak two lines and then exit the rest of the piece. Maybe even their opinions on the class or why they are taking it or how it’s affected them would help.
I would also like to see more descriptions. How did the houses look that you actually did go into? I also don’t know how I feel about the “I” character. I think that the article could hold its own without a self-character. You could still describe the surroundings and then go even more in depth with what others feel and see—such as Megan, Elizabeth, or the workers for the program.
Response to Steven’s “Sunday Morning”
I enjoyed your descriptions in your piece—you paid close attention to all the details and that is what makes this piece interesting. But almost all of it is description until the end, so I think other voices and more interactions are necessary. There are the voices of a few characters at the end but they come so long into the piece that they are never developed. It would be nice to know who they are and what they look like earlier. Maybe this happened because it was written in semi-chronological order, like a story, but I think it would be better to break the descriptions up so we see more conflict from the start.
I liked your narrator voice in it because it made it seem like you were trying to immerse yourself in the church even though you were clearly standing out. Something that would be helpful is establishing what certain religious terms are. I know, for me, it was hard to follow all of the religious descriptions and narration because I am not religious so it took me longer to establish what scenes were. This also made the piece interesting though—I learned some new things and could tell you were also thrown into a completely new atmosphere.
I liked how you opened the piece with the redundancy of the homes and then showed how Lisa’s home was different. But then I wanted to know more of why she was different and what those things meant to her? Was she the only Obama follower in the neighborhood? What does the reef represent? Why doesn’t she smoke/want smokers?
Although the structure of the quotes got confusing sometimes, I liked the voice that they had. They definitely helped to develop her character. The quotes were interesting and tied the piece together. But along with this, I think that descriptions of Lisa and her daughter both would be helpful in imagining the scene.
Something in general to work on is transitions. Some paragraphs made large jumps (paragraph two talks about her daughter in the last sentence, then jumps to a quote by Lisa at the beginning of paragraph 3), so reworking those would make it flow better.
Overall, I was a little bit confused about the final message. Was it about Lisa’s struggles in life—MS, welfare, etc? Problems with education? I see where it’s going though and I can really tell that you asked the right questions and got personal with your subject.
Response to Simona’s “A Course in Michigan’s Migrant Housing”
This was a really interesting piece—I never even realized how much of a problem this is all over Michigan. I liked your break-up of explanation, statistics, and quotes. One thing though, is that I don’t see some of the quotes as crucial to the piece. For example, if you want to use the dialogue between Megan and Elizabeth at the beginning, then I feel like they need to be fleshed out as characters a little bit more, instead of us just seeing them speak two lines and then exit the rest of the piece. Maybe even their opinions on the class or why they are taking it or how it’s affected them would help.
I would also like to see more descriptions. How did the houses look that you actually did go into? I also don’t know how I feel about the “I” character. I think that the article could hold its own without a self-character. You could still describe the surroundings and then go even more in depth with what others feel and see—such as Megan, Elizabeth, or the workers for the program.
Response to Steven’s “Sunday Morning”
I enjoyed your descriptions in your piece—you paid close attention to all the details and that is what makes this piece interesting. But almost all of it is description until the end, so I think other voices and more interactions are necessary. There are the voices of a few characters at the end but they come so long into the piece that they are never developed. It would be nice to know who they are and what they look like earlier. Maybe this happened because it was written in semi-chronological order, like a story, but I think it would be better to break the descriptions up so we see more conflict from the start.
I liked your narrator voice in it because it made it seem like you were trying to immerse yourself in the church even though you were clearly standing out. Something that would be helpful is establishing what certain religious terms are. I know, for me, it was hard to follow all of the religious descriptions and narration because I am not religious so it took me longer to establish what scenes were. This also made the piece interesting though—I learned some new things and could tell you were also thrown into a completely new atmosphere.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Writing Process Post (Week 10)
This piece definitely had the most up's and down's out of all my pieces written so far. Here are some things that helped or hurt me:
Talking to Amy Rodgers is what sparked this piece and reading her responses from past interviews really helped. She talked about the female role and dance and in academia so passionately that this definitely inspired the topic.
Students are flaky. I started interviewing two weeks ago, getting in touch with students by email. But they are hard to get in touch with. I feel like I didn't get all the student representation that I wanted. Would it be too much to add more students? Or what about male voices? I also wonder if I should add any professors to the mix to get their take? But for me, the students seemed to be more open about their opinions with gender divides on campus because they actually are a direct part of it first hand. Is the authoritative role a good thing to add though?
I ended up finding that The Tempest is what connected all of my interviews together. It was really interesting because each one actually mentioned the play at some point or another. I thought this was a good connection but then did it focus too much on theater and not enough on the other arts?
I really did enjoy writing/interviewing for this piece though. Especially being involved in the arts on our campus myself, it was really interesting to see what people had to say. I would like to interview some males in the next few days as well though. I asked each student what their definition and meaning for feminism was and it was interesting to compare all of them. I think it would be interesting to find a male's perspective on this. I also realized that I need to add much, much more details and descriptions. My article is obviously for an Index audience, so how much detail is too much?
Talking to Amy Rodgers is what sparked this piece and reading her responses from past interviews really helped. She talked about the female role and dance and in academia so passionately that this definitely inspired the topic.
Students are flaky. I started interviewing two weeks ago, getting in touch with students by email. But they are hard to get in touch with. I feel like I didn't get all the student representation that I wanted. Would it be too much to add more students? Or what about male voices? I also wonder if I should add any professors to the mix to get their take? But for me, the students seemed to be more open about their opinions with gender divides on campus because they actually are a direct part of it first hand. Is the authoritative role a good thing to add though?
I ended up finding that The Tempest is what connected all of my interviews together. It was really interesting because each one actually mentioned the play at some point or another. I thought this was a good connection but then did it focus too much on theater and not enough on the other arts?
I really did enjoy writing/interviewing for this piece though. Especially being involved in the arts on our campus myself, it was really interesting to see what people had to say. I would like to interview some males in the next few days as well though. I asked each student what their definition and meaning for feminism was and it was interesting to compare all of them. I think it would be interesting to find a male's perspective on this. I also realized that I need to add much, much more details and descriptions. My article is obviously for an Index audience, so how much detail is too much?
Explanatory Narrative (Week 10)
Explanatory Narrative
Women and the Arts at Kalamazoo College (Working Title)
Antonio became Antonia. Gonzalo became Gonzalia. Adrian became Adrienne. Most importantly, Prospero became Prospera. Kalamazoo College put on the usually male-dominated production of The Tempest, but instead replaced the males with females, showcasing the powerful women of the campus, determined to show what feminism and the arts is really about.
“The Tempest is Shakespeare's most male-heavy play and there's only one woman, Miranda, and she's not one of Shakespeare's strongest female roles. This means that suddenly we've created a world in which women hold positions of great power, and the tyrannical Prospero is now a strong female matriarch. In this way, I feel that we've done our part to reclaim The Tempest for feminism,” said Laura Fox the senior dramaturge for the play.
Fox and her fellow cast mates have made strides in cementing the female role in the arts on Kalamazoo College’s campus. Although Fox said that the theater department is very open to females (the majority of the directors have been females in the past), she feels that this play certainly opens up new ideas of the female role and hopes that this is spread to the campus. “I don't think the theatre department harbors any biases against women and I'd say that it's an exceptionally feminist department. But in terms of our campus, I'd say that women are still fighting an uphill battle,” said Fox.
Along with Fox and the theater department, other such contributors to the arts have made impacts for the women on our campus. Rachel Silander, a senior music major, focused her entire Senior Individualized Project (SIP) on music and sexual taboos, starting with the oppression of women in the 1920’s. “I think women have to struggle a little bit more and be a bit more talented in order to live up to the [music] standard whereas men who may have a decent voice are more likely to go farther as long as they are entertaining,” said Silander. Given these divides, she wanted to find a SIP that would explore these struggles for women in the music industry, especially those in musical theater.
Although the music department is heavily female-weighted, Silander believes that women can always work to make a mark in the arts, such as music. “Music gives a sense of power for women. They can gain a lot of respect from it. With two women's singing groups on campus I think it also creates a sense of solidarity among women that you can't necessarily find elsewhere on our campus,” she said. These women are working together.
Not only are they working together within departments but with other departments as well. Silander, as a music major not a theater major, mentioned The Tempest when describing examples of how women are taking back the arts at Kalamazoo College. This is exactly what Fox wanted with the play—to make an impact on the entire campus with a fight for feminism, not just the theater department. “Ask most men (and even women) about their thoughts on feminism, and I don't think they would have very nice things to say. It's still a very misunderstood concept, not only at K but everywhere, and I know that feminists on campus don't necessarily feel that their voices are being heard. So maybe they should give our theatre a try,” exclaimed Fox.
Like Fox, Laura Marshall, a senior art major, feels that the arts are a good way for women to express themselves. “The art programs on our campus may attract more females but that makes sense given the gender breakdown in general. But I don’t think this should stop women from excelling and trying even harder to make a difference in the arts, especially on such a small campus. The more exposure the better,” she said. “I even see my art major working hand-in-hand with my psychology major at times. We discuss a lot of women’s studies in our Feminist Psychology class so I often bring up my work in the arts. It’s not just about within our departments but all the women in the arts programs working with the entire campus.”
One of the main events that each female mentioned, that seeks to unify the campus and the women involved in our arts is The Tempest. “In Shakespeare's time, women weren't even allowed to act, so men and boys played all the roles. Now, of course, there are more images of women onstage, although not always flattering or strong ones. Our production of The Tempest seeks to rectify this and create strong female roles out of historically male roles. It's pretty exciting to be in the audience as a woman, then, and see these incredibly powerful and three-dimensional women onstage,” said Fox. This play has positively affected the women on our campus, and Fox, Silander, and Marshall all hope it has done the same for men.
Whether theater, music, or the arts in general, the women on Kalamazoo College’s campus agree on one thing: equality. No matter the art, each woman strives for equal acceptance and equal representation. They all understand that this is not the current situation in societies, so their actions to propel Kalamazoo College in the right direction have been necessary and beneficial for all.
Women and the Arts at Kalamazoo College (Working Title)
Antonio became Antonia. Gonzalo became Gonzalia. Adrian became Adrienne. Most importantly, Prospero became Prospera. Kalamazoo College put on the usually male-dominated production of The Tempest, but instead replaced the males with females, showcasing the powerful women of the campus, determined to show what feminism and the arts is really about.
“The Tempest is Shakespeare's most male-heavy play and there's only one woman, Miranda, and she's not one of Shakespeare's strongest female roles. This means that suddenly we've created a world in which women hold positions of great power, and the tyrannical Prospero is now a strong female matriarch. In this way, I feel that we've done our part to reclaim The Tempest for feminism,” said Laura Fox the senior dramaturge for the play.
Fox and her fellow cast mates have made strides in cementing the female role in the arts on Kalamazoo College’s campus. Although Fox said that the theater department is very open to females (the majority of the directors have been females in the past), she feels that this play certainly opens up new ideas of the female role and hopes that this is spread to the campus. “I don't think the theatre department harbors any biases against women and I'd say that it's an exceptionally feminist department. But in terms of our campus, I'd say that women are still fighting an uphill battle,” said Fox.
Along with Fox and the theater department, other such contributors to the arts have made impacts for the women on our campus. Rachel Silander, a senior music major, focused her entire Senior Individualized Project (SIP) on music and sexual taboos, starting with the oppression of women in the 1920’s. “I think women have to struggle a little bit more and be a bit more talented in order to live up to the [music] standard whereas men who may have a decent voice are more likely to go farther as long as they are entertaining,” said Silander. Given these divides, she wanted to find a SIP that would explore these struggles for women in the music industry, especially those in musical theater.
Although the music department is heavily female-weighted, Silander believes that women can always work to make a mark in the arts, such as music. “Music gives a sense of power for women. They can gain a lot of respect from it. With two women's singing groups on campus I think it also creates a sense of solidarity among women that you can't necessarily find elsewhere on our campus,” she said. These women are working together.
Not only are they working together within departments but with other departments as well. Silander, as a music major not a theater major, mentioned The Tempest when describing examples of how women are taking back the arts at Kalamazoo College. This is exactly what Fox wanted with the play—to make an impact on the entire campus with a fight for feminism, not just the theater department. “Ask most men (and even women) about their thoughts on feminism, and I don't think they would have very nice things to say. It's still a very misunderstood concept, not only at K but everywhere, and I know that feminists on campus don't necessarily feel that their voices are being heard. So maybe they should give our theatre a try,” exclaimed Fox.
Like Fox, Laura Marshall, a senior art major, feels that the arts are a good way for women to express themselves. “The art programs on our campus may attract more females but that makes sense given the gender breakdown in general. But I don’t think this should stop women from excelling and trying even harder to make a difference in the arts, especially on such a small campus. The more exposure the better,” she said. “I even see my art major working hand-in-hand with my psychology major at times. We discuss a lot of women’s studies in our Feminist Psychology class so I often bring up my work in the arts. It’s not just about within our departments but all the women in the arts programs working with the entire campus.”
One of the main events that each female mentioned, that seeks to unify the campus and the women involved in our arts is The Tempest. “In Shakespeare's time, women weren't even allowed to act, so men and boys played all the roles. Now, of course, there are more images of women onstage, although not always flattering or strong ones. Our production of The Tempest seeks to rectify this and create strong female roles out of historically male roles. It's pretty exciting to be in the audience as a woman, then, and see these incredibly powerful and three-dimensional women onstage,” said Fox. This play has positively affected the women on our campus, and Fox, Silander, and Marshall all hope it has done the same for men.
Whether theater, music, or the arts in general, the women on Kalamazoo College’s campus agree on one thing: equality. No matter the art, each woman strives for equal acceptance and equal representation. They all understand that this is not the current situation in societies, so their actions to propel Kalamazoo College in the right direction have been necessary and beneficial for all.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Responses to Pieces: Workshop Pt. I (Week 9)
Response to Claire's "Michigan Smoking Ban: All Smoke and No Fire?"
I really liked this immersion-type piece. I liked how you would mention your pack of Camel cigarettes or yourself wandering a bar or cafe with your drink. I think these things made it believable for the reader to understand your point of view and see that you really put herself into the situations. One thing that threw me off at times was the transitions between locations. It just seemed to jump a little bit. As I read, I eventually understood the transitions but it took a second before I really felt like they flowed together. I also was wondering what happened with the Waldo's situation. Was there a bouncer or management member around to talk to? Did they say that they don't really enforce either? Or that they are half-assing it? I really liked the personal aspect that you put into the piece, so I was wondering if more of other voices could go in it as well? Or would that be too many voices? Overall, I really enjoyed reading your piece.
Response to Joel's "Meeting the Band Draft"
You can really tell that you spent time on your subject and invested yourself in them. I liked the quotes you put in because you really get a feel for the band. You did a great job of capturing the band's mentality and aura with the quotes and the descriptions. One thing that threw me off was the form/structure. You have a lot of longer sentences (lots of commas), so I would definitely rework them to make sure sentence structure is not too redundant. I really enjoyed the piece, but I was stuck when I tried to think of the exact conflict. Especially with the last few sentences at the end, I get a review/promotion type feel, trying to convince us to applaud them. So that threw the conflict off a little bit for me. Overall, I think this was a great draft and can definitely see your interest in the band.
Response to Jess'"Amidst Smaller Acceptance Rates, KAMSC Students are Still Getting In"
I really liked reading your piece. I thought the organization and flow of the piece was great--one section went to the next with meaning and purpose. You can definitely tell that you did a lot of reporting and really thought about how to structure all of it into the story. You included the information in a great way so it was easy to comprehend as a reader and apply to the story at hand. One thing that I questioned was that this felt like a very newspaper/news-y story. I liked when the student has a voice at the end but besides that it seems like a very straight-forward and news-focused story. I think the quotes definitely add to the narrative aspect of the story, though--because you get to hear Streeter's voice and you can tell he's a unique man. At times, the quotes did get a little confusing to read though (probably because of the conversational aspect of it). Besides that I think that your piece was well-organized and well-researched and that definitely impressed me.
Response to Anna's "Park Trades Center Draft"
I think that your piece was structured well--you gave good descriptions of each section. I wanted to see more of them tied together. I like when you mention the KBAC and Glass Center collaborating because that really adds to the sense of community in the Trades Center--so I think more of this feel would be great. Until the end of the last paragraph, it is mostly description of each section (which were great), and then we finally see what the conflict is/all of the different areas coming together. I think this could definitely be used earlier in the piece. You do this well with your physical descriptions (the staircase winding down and connecting all of the areas, etc), but I wanted to see more of the actual events that bring them together (like the two companies collaborating). Not to take away from the descriptions thought, because I thought they were fabulous!
Response to Myles' "Parchment's Abandoned Factories/Working Title"
I really loved all of your descriptions. I thought you did a great job of describing what you were seeing and how it was something that perhaps the rest of us have never seen before. I think that having these descriptions throughout the entire piece instead of mainly the beginning would be nice. In the first three paragraphs, you use a lot of semi-colons and em-dashes--so I would definitely rework sentence structure to break-up run-ons. All of your descriptions are so good that it would be a waste for them to get lost in one big, long sentence. I think that I would like more voices in the piece. Who is this affecting besides Curt Flowers. What about the people that live(d) there? Overall, I think there needs to be more conflict in the story: is it that the mills shut down? that Curt wants them back? both? I would have more of this conflict throughout the story and not just the end. I really like what you have so far, the descriptions are great.
I really liked this immersion-type piece. I liked how you would mention your pack of Camel cigarettes or yourself wandering a bar or cafe with your drink. I think these things made it believable for the reader to understand your point of view and see that you really put herself into the situations. One thing that threw me off at times was the transitions between locations. It just seemed to jump a little bit. As I read, I eventually understood the transitions but it took a second before I really felt like they flowed together. I also was wondering what happened with the Waldo's situation. Was there a bouncer or management member around to talk to? Did they say that they don't really enforce either? Or that they are half-assing it? I really liked the personal aspect that you put into the piece, so I was wondering if more of other voices could go in it as well? Or would that be too many voices? Overall, I really enjoyed reading your piece.
Response to Joel's "Meeting the Band Draft"
You can really tell that you spent time on your subject and invested yourself in them. I liked the quotes you put in because you really get a feel for the band. You did a great job of capturing the band's mentality and aura with the quotes and the descriptions. One thing that threw me off was the form/structure. You have a lot of longer sentences (lots of commas), so I would definitely rework them to make sure sentence structure is not too redundant. I really enjoyed the piece, but I was stuck when I tried to think of the exact conflict. Especially with the last few sentences at the end, I get a review/promotion type feel, trying to convince us to applaud them. So that threw the conflict off a little bit for me. Overall, I think this was a great draft and can definitely see your interest in the band.
Response to Jess'"Amidst Smaller Acceptance Rates, KAMSC Students are Still Getting In"
I really liked reading your piece. I thought the organization and flow of the piece was great--one section went to the next with meaning and purpose. You can definitely tell that you did a lot of reporting and really thought about how to structure all of it into the story. You included the information in a great way so it was easy to comprehend as a reader and apply to the story at hand. One thing that I questioned was that this felt like a very newspaper/news-y story. I liked when the student has a voice at the end but besides that it seems like a very straight-forward and news-focused story. I think the quotes definitely add to the narrative aspect of the story, though--because you get to hear Streeter's voice and you can tell he's a unique man. At times, the quotes did get a little confusing to read though (probably because of the conversational aspect of it). Besides that I think that your piece was well-organized and well-researched and that definitely impressed me.
Response to Anna's "Park Trades Center Draft"
I think that your piece was structured well--you gave good descriptions of each section. I wanted to see more of them tied together. I like when you mention the KBAC and Glass Center collaborating because that really adds to the sense of community in the Trades Center--so I think more of this feel would be great. Until the end of the last paragraph, it is mostly description of each section (which were great), and then we finally see what the conflict is/all of the different areas coming together. I think this could definitely be used earlier in the piece. You do this well with your physical descriptions (the staircase winding down and connecting all of the areas, etc), but I wanted to see more of the actual events that bring them together (like the two companies collaborating). Not to take away from the descriptions thought, because I thought they were fabulous!
Response to Myles' "Parchment's Abandoned Factories/Working Title"
I really loved all of your descriptions. I thought you did a great job of describing what you were seeing and how it was something that perhaps the rest of us have never seen before. I think that having these descriptions throughout the entire piece instead of mainly the beginning would be nice. In the first three paragraphs, you use a lot of semi-colons and em-dashes--so I would definitely rework sentence structure to break-up run-ons. All of your descriptions are so good that it would be a waste for them to get lost in one big, long sentence. I think that I would like more voices in the piece. Who is this affecting besides Curt Flowers. What about the people that live(d) there? Overall, I think there needs to be more conflict in the story: is it that the mills shut down? that Curt wants them back? both? I would have more of this conflict throughout the story and not just the end. I really like what you have so far, the descriptions are great.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Final Draft of Profile Piece
“Turning Points”
Amy Rodgers dreams of pirouettes even after her ballet career has ended—showcasing her skills and her tutu-fitting body line as she lifts her leg to her knee, spinning around gracefully on the tips of her toes. Pirouette is the step “to turn” in ballet terms—the number of turns increases as he or she develops their skill. “I still dream about it. Doing perfect turns or untying my Pointe shoes,” said Rodgers with a nostalgic smile.
Rodgers started her ballet career on the late side, two months from 13 years old, in New York. “When I was around 12, I saw Flash Dance and said, ‘Oh, I want to do this!’ It was because of that. Embarrassing, but absolutely true.” Throwing herself into the art at full force after her movie-inspired classes, she landed her first job by age 16 with the Washington Ballet. She then also danced at the Atlanta Ballet as a soloist until she tore a tendon in her foot, forcing her to take a year off. Although Rodgers attempted a return to ballet, she realized that she had other things to devote her life to.
“I waited tables in New York, mostly because my dad got annoyed I was watching T.V. at home,” she said with a smirk, “I met all these people who were writing and acting, and they’d all been to college. I thought they were the most interesting people I had ever met.” This propelled her to apply to and attend Columbia University at 24.
During college, Rodgers developed an interest for film, especially with her ballet background gravitating her toward another type of art: “I think there is something detail-oriented about dancers that has helped influence the way that I have worked with texts and films. Especially with ballet—your hand, or all the little details you have to be aware of all the time,” Rodgers said, “I spent so much time thinking about audiences and thinking about their point of view.” Finding her niche in film, Rodgers continued her studies in graduate school at the University of Michigan.
School helped Rodgers to start to develop her ideas on feminism. “I became aware of the movement when I went to college. I became conscious of what it meant other than what you hear on ‘School House Rock’ with women’s’ rights” she said laughing. A class at Michigan that emphasized these newfound thoughts was Gaylyn Studlar’s “Hitchcock and Feminism.” Rodgers became so enthralled with this concept, that she brought the class to Kalamazoo College where she is doing her post-doctoral teaching fellowship in order to become a professor at a liberal arts school.
Rodgers has fit right in with the Kalamazoo College crowd. “When I think about her virtues, I think others of my colleagues have those virtues,” said Andrew Mozina, head of the English department. “She is extremely energetic in the classroom. Her mind is really quick so she is very agile in discussions.”
She maintains composure throughout her classes. She split the class into smaller groups so they could discuss readings and the film. Rodgers inserted herself into a group, acting as a student rather than a facilitator. The only thing that separated her was her brightly colored floral capris that she is known for. She said that staying still is hard for her. “Walking around is my thing,” Rodgers said, as her vibrant pants flowed with each step.
“Amy is so energetic that she never struggles to hold the class's focus. And while she is incredibly intelligent, she never acts as if her insights are superior to a student's,” said Laura Fox, a senior in the class.
Rodgers combines her passion of teaching and of feminism and film to encourage the class in finding the importance of this discourse and why it needs to be talked about for them. “What does feminism mean to me? It means an awareness of how women exist in the culture that they occupy and ideally, it means making both men and women aware of that,” she said. “I want my students to engage with those ideas of feminism instead of just accept them. I hope for all to have a more creative understanding of what feminism is."
Now that Rodgers has developed her thoughts on feminism, she has been able to think back to her dancing days and think critically about that particular lifestyle. “I accepted the paradigms and aesthetics of ballet,” she said. “I certainly wanted my body to look like how I was told.” She aimed for the skinny waist, lack of breasts, and a bodyline that never faltered in any direction. Dancing has become a heated subject when it comes to feminism because of these body demands. Rodgers never really thought about feminism and dancing while she was a ballerina, mostly because she believed in her role as a dancer. But now she understands that there are issues.
“I think there is a problem in ballet that so many of the choreographers are male,” she said. Rodgers explained that male choreographers have a different sense of body image than females. Every day, dancers struggle with body issues and the ideal look, but she hopes that this will not remain. “There’s more to it than that. I think there are ways that dance, and ballet in particular, glorifies women.”
Times are turning, and Rodgers embraces feminism into both her past and her present life, whether focusing on film, pirouettes, or even family. “I’m surrounded by men! I have a husband and two little boys, and I’m very fortunate to have a husband that is supportive and does traditionally more feminine things,” she said. “I enjoy my kids, but I really enjoy my career.” Rodgers is trying to find ways to reconcile aspects of feminism with her life. “For me it means just trying to be comfortable with who I am, which I wasn’t always, but now I am a lot more, and anyone can always work on that.”
Amy Rodgers dreams of pirouettes even after her ballet career has ended—showcasing her skills and her tutu-fitting body line as she lifts her leg to her knee, spinning around gracefully on the tips of her toes. Pirouette is the step “to turn” in ballet terms—the number of turns increases as he or she develops their skill. “I still dream about it. Doing perfect turns or untying my Pointe shoes,” said Rodgers with a nostalgic smile.
Rodgers started her ballet career on the late side, two months from 13 years old, in New York. “When I was around 12, I saw Flash Dance and said, ‘Oh, I want to do this!’ It was because of that. Embarrassing, but absolutely true.” Throwing herself into the art at full force after her movie-inspired classes, she landed her first job by age 16 with the Washington Ballet. She then also danced at the Atlanta Ballet as a soloist until she tore a tendon in her foot, forcing her to take a year off. Although Rodgers attempted a return to ballet, she realized that she had other things to devote her life to.
“I waited tables in New York, mostly because my dad got annoyed I was watching T.V. at home,” she said with a smirk, “I met all these people who were writing and acting, and they’d all been to college. I thought they were the most interesting people I had ever met.” This propelled her to apply to and attend Columbia University at 24.
During college, Rodgers developed an interest for film, especially with her ballet background gravitating her toward another type of art: “I think there is something detail-oriented about dancers that has helped influence the way that I have worked with texts and films. Especially with ballet—your hand, or all the little details you have to be aware of all the time,” Rodgers said, “I spent so much time thinking about audiences and thinking about their point of view.” Finding her niche in film, Rodgers continued her studies in graduate school at the University of Michigan.
School helped Rodgers to start to develop her ideas on feminism. “I became aware of the movement when I went to college. I became conscious of what it meant other than what you hear on ‘School House Rock’ with women’s’ rights” she said laughing. A class at Michigan that emphasized these newfound thoughts was Gaylyn Studlar’s “Hitchcock and Feminism.” Rodgers became so enthralled with this concept, that she brought the class to Kalamazoo College where she is doing her post-doctoral teaching fellowship in order to become a professor at a liberal arts school.
Rodgers has fit right in with the Kalamazoo College crowd. “When I think about her virtues, I think others of my colleagues have those virtues,” said Andrew Mozina, head of the English department. “She is extremely energetic in the classroom. Her mind is really quick so she is very agile in discussions.”
She maintains composure throughout her classes. She split the class into smaller groups so they could discuss readings and the film. Rodgers inserted herself into a group, acting as a student rather than a facilitator. The only thing that separated her was her brightly colored floral capris that she is known for. She said that staying still is hard for her. “Walking around is my thing,” Rodgers said, as her vibrant pants flowed with each step.
“Amy is so energetic that she never struggles to hold the class's focus. And while she is incredibly intelligent, she never acts as if her insights are superior to a student's,” said Laura Fox, a senior in the class.
Rodgers combines her passion of teaching and of feminism and film to encourage the class in finding the importance of this discourse and why it needs to be talked about for them. “What does feminism mean to me? It means an awareness of how women exist in the culture that they occupy and ideally, it means making both men and women aware of that,” she said. “I want my students to engage with those ideas of feminism instead of just accept them. I hope for all to have a more creative understanding of what feminism is."
Now that Rodgers has developed her thoughts on feminism, she has been able to think back to her dancing days and think critically about that particular lifestyle. “I accepted the paradigms and aesthetics of ballet,” she said. “I certainly wanted my body to look like how I was told.” She aimed for the skinny waist, lack of breasts, and a bodyline that never faltered in any direction. Dancing has become a heated subject when it comes to feminism because of these body demands. Rodgers never really thought about feminism and dancing while she was a ballerina, mostly because she believed in her role as a dancer. But now she understands that there are issues.
“I think there is a problem in ballet that so many of the choreographers are male,” she said. Rodgers explained that male choreographers have a different sense of body image than females. Every day, dancers struggle with body issues and the ideal look, but she hopes that this will not remain. “There’s more to it than that. I think there are ways that dance, and ballet in particular, glorifies women.”
Times are turning, and Rodgers embraces feminism into both her past and her present life, whether focusing on film, pirouettes, or even family. “I’m surrounded by men! I have a husband and two little boys, and I’m very fortunate to have a husband that is supportive and does traditionally more feminine things,” she said. “I enjoy my kids, but I really enjoy my career.” Rodgers is trying to find ways to reconcile aspects of feminism with her life. “For me it means just trying to be comfortable with who I am, which I wasn’t always, but now I am a lot more, and anyone can always work on that.”
Monday, May 17, 2010
Reading Response (Week 8)
This chapter in "Telling True Stories" was very interesting because ethics is an aspect that we have not really discussed yet. I think that this quote sums my concerns up best: "The way we remember things is not necessarily the way they were. This makes memoir, by definition, a form in which reality and imagination blur into a fourth genre. The problems of memory also infect journalism when reporters, in describing the memories of sources and witnesses, wind up lending authority to a kind of fiction" (165). How can we tell when something is not exactly the "way they were"? Also, in Part VI of this section, Harrington talks about the code for journalists. In the end, he says that if you have not found things about a subject that should NOT become public, then you are not a good journalist. He also says that it is impossible to go intimately into people's live without running into difficulties of choosing what to reveal and what not to. This really struck me because I realized that the extra push in interviews is really important Especially because it was hard for me to become very personal/feel comfortable, becoming personal and deeper into their personal lives was hard. I definitely could feel the opening up with the second interview with Amy though and kind of wish that I could have read this quote before to encourage me to open even more.
There was something about "Access" that lost me until the end. The end kept me attached, but throughout it, I was very wishy-washy about the message and the narrative used to tell it. It was hard for me to get into. I felt like part of me was very stubborn with the "I don't relate or understand" mentality and would not open to the piece. But at the same time, what was it about the writer's style that made me not want to stop thinking that way?
"Why I Write" was really interesting to me. To start, looking at the page, you see the word I all over. Before you even start reading, I pops out at you, and I think this really emphasizes the personal aspect of writing that Orwell wanted to portray. Usually the repetition of structure and redundancy of words is boring to a reader, but in this case I thought it was very effective. The four great motives were really interesting--I think I related to the second motive the most--having the desire to share an experience through my own words that I feel others should hear. I never really thought of writer's to have these 4 main motives--I forget about a political purpose a lot of the time so that fourth motive was a new one for me especially when he says "no book is genuinely free from political bias. The opinion that art should have nothing to do with politics is itself a political attitude."
There was something about "Access" that lost me until the end. The end kept me attached, but throughout it, I was very wishy-washy about the message and the narrative used to tell it. It was hard for me to get into. I felt like part of me was very stubborn with the "I don't relate or understand" mentality and would not open to the piece. But at the same time, what was it about the writer's style that made me not want to stop thinking that way?
"Why I Write" was really interesting to me. To start, looking at the page, you see the word I all over. Before you even start reading, I pops out at you, and I think this really emphasizes the personal aspect of writing that Orwell wanted to portray. Usually the repetition of structure and redundancy of words is boring to a reader, but in this case I thought it was very effective. The four great motives were really interesting--I think I related to the second motive the most--having the desire to share an experience through my own words that I feel others should hear. I never really thought of writer's to have these 4 main motives--I forget about a political purpose a lot of the time so that fourth motive was a new one for me especially when he says "no book is genuinely free from political bias. The opinion that art should have nothing to do with politics is itself a political attitude."
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Reading Response (Week 7)
First, I was so impressed with how Talese could write such an article without having met Sinatra. The details, the descriptions, his actions—it seemed like Talese knew him personally. “Sinatra with a cold is Picasso without paint, Ferrari without fuel -- only worse. For the common cold robs Sinatra of that uninsurable jewel, his voice, cutting into the core of his confidence, and it affects not only his own psyche but also seems to cause a kind of psychosomatic nasal drip within dozens of people who work for him, drink with him, love him, depend on him for their own welfare and stability. A Sinatra with a cold can, in a small way, send vibrations through the entertainment industry and beyond as surely as a President of the United States, suddenly sick, can shake the national economy.” It seems like such a simple thing—having a cold, but Talese goes onto describe this like he knows exactly how Sinatra was acting, living, and changing because of this simple cold. How does he find all of these details of Sinatra and his friends without meeting them? Just before the light turned green, Sinatra turned toward her, looked directly into her eyes waiting for the reaction he knew would come. It came and he smiled. She smiled and he was gone. How did he capture such emotion?
The Last Taboo was also very interesting to read. What drew me in was definitely the first opening paragraph. I’ve noticed that articles that open with setting the scene and descriptions are the one’s that are most appealing and entertaining. It is hard to describe such a controversial issue in an entertaining way, but Whitty succeeds by combining these important ideas with physical descriptions of what’s going on. The side bar of population stats and charts also kept me drawn into the article and also gave a quick and bold way of showing just what is going on. Reading through this, I wondered how Whitty would conclude the article without preaching and without presenting her opinion. I think that she ended effectively, returning to her descriptions and people’s actions—this ends the article with actual events and hope, perhaps, instead of giving an outright response.
Although Making a Success of Her Messiness on Two Coasts did not open with a flow of descriptions and scene setting, I thought it was still so straightforward that it was effective. It goes right into conflict in the article, getting to the point of what Meriwhether has done. The end also is effective—giving readers the sense of Meriwhether’s hope to continue both theater and Hollywood—the ending quote is effective in summing up the article.
The Rolling Stones return to Exile did not capture me like the other articles did. It was hard for me to get drawn in, perhaps because I do not have a passion for the Rolling Stones. I felt like the article was written for people that perhaps have some sort of background already, so I had a hard to picturing characters and scenes. One thing that did help this though, were the quotes—the voices helped me to create an image and a setting. Like Hochschild wrote accuracy, atmosphere, dialogue, and emotion are important in building character and reconstructing scene. I feel that this article did not do all of the above to its best potential—this is something I struggle with, really including these key elements. I really liked that he said we must make our writing believable without “inventing” things. “It’s important to show that you aren’t, that every crucial detail—especially every quote—has a source” (135). Especially with quotes, I struggle with contextualizing them and making it believable so now I know that it’s definitely something to work on to make works more believable and relatable.
The Last Taboo was also very interesting to read. What drew me in was definitely the first opening paragraph. I’ve noticed that articles that open with setting the scene and descriptions are the one’s that are most appealing and entertaining. It is hard to describe such a controversial issue in an entertaining way, but Whitty succeeds by combining these important ideas with physical descriptions of what’s going on. The side bar of population stats and charts also kept me drawn into the article and also gave a quick and bold way of showing just what is going on. Reading through this, I wondered how Whitty would conclude the article without preaching and without presenting her opinion. I think that she ended effectively, returning to her descriptions and people’s actions—this ends the article with actual events and hope, perhaps, instead of giving an outright response.
Although Making a Success of Her Messiness on Two Coasts did not open with a flow of descriptions and scene setting, I thought it was still so straightforward that it was effective. It goes right into conflict in the article, getting to the point of what Meriwhether has done. The end also is effective—giving readers the sense of Meriwhether’s hope to continue both theater and Hollywood—the ending quote is effective in summing up the article.
The Rolling Stones return to Exile did not capture me like the other articles did. It was hard for me to get drawn in, perhaps because I do not have a passion for the Rolling Stones. I felt like the article was written for people that perhaps have some sort of background already, so I had a hard to picturing characters and scenes. One thing that did help this though, were the quotes—the voices helped me to create an image and a setting. Like Hochschild wrote accuracy, atmosphere, dialogue, and emotion are important in building character and reconstructing scene. I feel that this article did not do all of the above to its best potential—this is something I struggle with, really including these key elements. I really liked that he said we must make our writing believable without “inventing” things. “It’s important to show that you aren’t, that every crucial detail—especially every quote—has a source” (135). Especially with quotes, I struggle with contextualizing them and making it believable so now I know that it’s definitely something to work on to make works more believable and relatable.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Response to Munirah's "Profile Draft"
Munirah did a good job of describing the scene at Dairy Mart—all of the hustle and bustle and in-and-out traffic. But I want to hear about the people that are there and why they are that. What makes them return there all the time? The beginning of this piece has started out pretty well with all the descriptions, but now Munirah has to include quotes and people in the setting (perhaps the owner or someone with close connection with the store).
There also needs to be a conflict developed in this piece. Why is Dairy Mart there? Why is it sketchy sometimes? The odd ambiance of the place could be a good place to start in order to develop this piece more. Or maybe the change in smoking laws have drastically changed the sales and the linger-ers around the store? That could be an interesting angle once Munirah talks to the owner and delves deeper into what makes Dairy Mart a good place to profile. It's clearly still a work in progress so it'll drastically change by the final draft.
There also needs to be a conflict developed in this piece. Why is Dairy Mart there? Why is it sketchy sometimes? The odd ambiance of the place could be a good place to start in order to develop this piece more. Or maybe the change in smoking laws have drastically changed the sales and the linger-ers around the store? That could be an interesting angle once Munirah talks to the owner and delves deeper into what makes Dairy Mart a good place to profile. It's clearly still a work in progress so it'll drastically change by the final draft.
Response to Joel's "Union Piece"
Joel's piece was interesting to read, especially with the quotes from the bartender and the regular visitors. It gives the piece a good inside. Overall, I felt like the piece was more a review than a profile--I felt like it was trying to convince me why the Union was awesome and I should go to it instead of going in depth to what the Union is and why its important. Joel started to get at this a few times--the diversity of the place in terms of gender, race, everything, all the age groups that go there, etc. But I wanted there to be even more about that, in detail.
You can tell that Joel has interesting information about the Union and found new things while he stayed there for observation--so I want to see more of that in the piece. I also think that shortening paragraphs and changing up sentence structure would help the flow as well (there are a lot of repeated words and phrases). Overall, it's a good start, but a conflict needs to be developed stronger throughout the piece.
You can tell that Joel has interesting information about the Union and found new things while he stayed there for observation--so I want to see more of that in the piece. I also think that shortening paragraphs and changing up sentence structure would help the flow as well (there are a lot of repeated words and phrases). Overall, it's a good start, but a conflict needs to be developed stronger throughout the piece.
Response to Claire's "Kalamazoo College's Organic Gardents Want to Harvest Ideals"
I thought that Claire's piece was very organized and flowed together very well--I thought that the descriptions were spread out well throughout the piece, so each aspect was detailed (Gardening class to D.I.R.T. to individuals). I also liked that the ending tied together both organic gardens with the same passion, and I also loved the ending line--it summed up the article nicely, tying back to events from the beginning of the article.
This kind of a general question that I struggled with--but how do you decide whether to use someone's last name or first name after they've been referenced for the first time? Is there a certain rule about that? I didn't really know what to do for my piece so I thought I'd ask. I saw that Claire used all first names so I was just wondering if that was a choice to do so or a rule.
So overall, the piece profiles the organic gardens in general on Kalamazoo College's campus, I think. I thought Claire did a nice job of tying all of the aspects of this together.
This kind of a general question that I struggled with--but how do you decide whether to use someone's last name or first name after they've been referenced for the first time? Is there a certain rule about that? I didn't really know what to do for my piece so I thought I'd ask. I saw that Claire used all first names so I was just wondering if that was a choice to do so or a rule.
So overall, the piece profiles the organic gardens in general on Kalamazoo College's campus, I think. I thought Claire did a nice job of tying all of the aspects of this together.
Response to Anna's "Songs of the Earth"
I really felt the earthy and laid-back nature of Victor through the descriptions and the quotes that Anna used and I really enjoyed that. What an interesting person to profile! I love the aspects of music and nature that are described, and there you see the conflict between them that is reconciled by the end of the article. I thought that Anna's piece was well-organized and that she chose wisely with the details, events, and descriptions that she included. Also, the transitions between ideas were very well-done and made the article flow and easy to understand.
I was a little bit confused at the end of the third paragraph and the series of events. So, did Victor say the last quote in response to what Anna said, or in general? Were the condescending remarks sexist toward males and their jobs? Or what Victor's profession is in general?
I also am on the fence about the end. I like that it ends with him saying that the country boy will win out and defining his identity with that. But I also feel like this paragraph would be great description of him at the beginning of the article. It talks about his background and his preference for the country, but that doesn't close up the music and nature aspects of his life like I was waiting for. I like the paragraph, but maybe earlier instead?
Overall, I really enjoyed reading about Victor and I can really tell that Anna invested her time and her interest in the topic!
I was a little bit confused at the end of the third paragraph and the series of events. So, did Victor say the last quote in response to what Anna said, or in general? Were the condescending remarks sexist toward males and their jobs? Or what Victor's profession is in general?
I also am on the fence about the end. I like that it ends with him saying that the country boy will win out and defining his identity with that. But I also feel like this paragraph would be great description of him at the beginning of the article. It talks about his background and his preference for the country, but that doesn't close up the music and nature aspects of his life like I was waiting for. I like the paragraph, but maybe earlier instead?
Overall, I really enjoyed reading about Victor and I can really tell that Anna invested her time and her interest in the topic!
Writing Process (Week 6)
Profile Piece Writing Process
I'll be honest--this was really, really hard to write for me. I had NO idea what to include, what to take out, or anything really. The hardest part for me was starting. Even with all of the interview information (Amy gave me GREAT info and amazing quotes), I didn't know where to start or what angle to take. I decided on the feminism in Amy's life because it's something that ties all of her interests and arts together. But even after choosing that and even after writing this piece, I still feel like it's wandering and doesn't have a clear focus. It was hard to sum up Amy in 1,000 words or less and only pick a few things to focus on.
Something I really enjoyed was interviewing Amy. As others said, I was nervous about interviewing, even though I've had her as a teacher before. To every question I asked, Amy gave such thoughtful answers but without strain or force. I loved just listening to her talk about her passions and her life through the contexts of ballet and also her Hitchcock and Feminism class. Sitting in the class was also interesting--I still need to complete another interview for the final draft.
Although I struggled to write this, I still enjoyed it. Even though it got frustrating, it felt good when a certain form fell into place or a quote fit perfectly into words.
One thing I had a question about/struggled with: is it better to find a quote and then start writing around it? Or to write, then a quote somehow falls into that place?
I'll be honest--this was really, really hard to write for me. I had NO idea what to include, what to take out, or anything really. The hardest part for me was starting. Even with all of the interview information (Amy gave me GREAT info and amazing quotes), I didn't know where to start or what angle to take. I decided on the feminism in Amy's life because it's something that ties all of her interests and arts together. But even after choosing that and even after writing this piece, I still feel like it's wandering and doesn't have a clear focus. It was hard to sum up Amy in 1,000 words or less and only pick a few things to focus on.
Something I really enjoyed was interviewing Amy. As others said, I was nervous about interviewing, even though I've had her as a teacher before. To every question I asked, Amy gave such thoughtful answers but without strain or force. I loved just listening to her talk about her passions and her life through the contexts of ballet and also her Hitchcock and Feminism class. Sitting in the class was also interesting--I still need to complete another interview for the final draft.
Although I struggled to write this, I still enjoyed it. Even though it got frustrating, it felt good when a certain form fell into place or a quote fit perfectly into words.
One thing I had a question about/struggled with: is it better to find a quote and then start writing around it? Or to write, then a quote somehow falls into that place?
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Profile Piece (Week 6)
“Turning Times of Amy Rodgers and Feminism”
Amy Rodgers dreams of pirouettes—showcasing her skills and her tutu-fitting body line as she lifts her leg to her knee, spinning around gracefully on the tips of her toes, circling around multiple times. Pirouette is the step “to turn” in ballet terms—the dancer spiraling with centered placement and alignment. The amount of turns increase as he or she develops their skill. “I still dream about it. Doing perfect turns or missing an entrance or untying my Pointe shoes,” said Rodgers with a nostalgic smile. But for Rodgers, life has not just been about turning faster and better, but also turning the page to new experiences and the realm of feminism within it.
Rodgers started her ballet career on the late side, two months from 13 years old, in New York. Catching onto the art quickly, she landed her first job by age 16 with the Washington Ballet. She then danced at the Joffrey Ballet and also the Atlanta Ballet as a soloist until she tore a tendon in her foot that forced her to take a year off from the world of dance. The Atlanta Ballet was a part of a union company—so she was given a two-year hold to take a break and rehabilitate, eventually to rejoin the company.
“I accepted the paradigms and aesthetics of ballet,” said Rodgers. “I certainly wanted my body to look like how I was told.” Rodgers aimed for the skinny waist, lack of breasts, and a bodyline that never faltered in any direction. Dancing has become a heated subject when it comes to feminism and anti-feminism because of these body demands. Rodgers never really thought about feminism and dancing while she was a ballerina, mostly because she was in tunnel-vision and understood the role as a dancer.
“I think there is a problem in ballet that so many of the choreographers are male.” Male choreographers have a different sense of body image than females. Every day, dancers struggle with body issues and the ideal look, but Rodgers hopes that this will not remain. “There’s more to it than that. I think there are ways that dance, and ballet in particular, glorifies women. George Balanchine always used to say ‘Ballet is Women.’”
Rodgers found herself drifting from the dance world and looking back on it, she believes that the pain, and questioning of the lifestyle are what drove her to quitting. “I waited tables in New York, mostly because my dad got annoyed I was watching T.V. at home,” she said with a smirk, “I met all these people who were writing and acting, and they’d all been to college. I thought they were the most interesting people I had ever met,” she said. Although Rodgers returned to ballet for a year, she was not happy, and could not fit herself back into “narrowness of that lifestyle”—it was no longer worth the body pains and diets. This propelled her to apply to college at 24-years old.
Rodgers’ interest in the arts flourished at Columbia University. “I think there is something detail-oriented about dancers that has helped influence the way that I have worked with texts and films. Especially with ballet—your hand, or all the little details you have to be aware of all the time,” Rodgers said, “I spent so much time thinking about audiences and thinking about their point of view.”
After succeeding at Columbia, Rodgers received her masters in film from the University of Michigan. “I think this is something that came out of my dance background—I’m very influenced by teachers. Like in dance, there are people that really invest in you. And I sought that out.” She worked closely with film theorist Gaylyn Studlar and her Hitchcock and Feminism class—because of the great ideas and influences she experienced with the class, she brought it to Kalamazoo College, hoping for students to find use in the topic as well.
Students flocked to her film class: “Sometime during fall quarter, I heard that this class would be offered this spring, and I cleared my schedule to make sure I could take it! I love Hitchcock and I thought it would be fascinating to study his work in general, and especially through a feminist lens,” said Laura Fox, a senior English major.
Rodgers maintains a laid-back ambiance throughout her classes. During my visit, she split the class into smaller groups so they could discuss readings and the film in more detail. Rodgers inserted herself into a group, acting as a student rather than a facilitator. The only thing that separated her was her brightly-colored floral capris that she is known for.
“Amy is so energetic that she never struggles to hold the class's focus. And while she is incredibly intelligent, she never acts as if her insights are superior to a student's. She's down-to-earth and approachable, and she truly makes learning an exciting experience,” said Fox. During the lecture, she said “Walking around is my thing,” as her vibrant pants flowed with each step.
Rodgers combines her passion of teaching and of feminism and film to encourage the class in finding the importance of this discourse and why it needs to be talked about for them. “I want them to engage with those ideas of feminism instead of just accept them,” she said.
As Rodgers has created a class to emphasize Hitchcock’s films through a feminist lens, she has also taken a step back to think about feminism as a whole throughout her lifetime. She believes that if she were dancing now, her ideas on feminism would have created a rift in her life. “You can’t think of things as oh, this is anti-feminist, this is feminist. You have to really buy into it and believe in it. Once I started questioning this belief is when I left the world [of dance]. I don’t know if those things [ballet and feminism] can be reconciled” she said. “Twenty years ago, a conversation about anti-feminism and dance wouldn’t have happened. I think it’s an important place for these conversations to happen.”
Rodgers has developed feminism not only in the realm of film, but also of theater, dance, and the arts in general. Times are turning, and Rodgers embraces it into both her past and her present life, whether focusing on film or pirouettes. She still dreams of ballet and completing more pirouettes. Rodgers said, “I hope for all to have a more creative understanding of what feminism is, what it tries to do, and where it falls short of doing that.”
Amy Rodgers dreams of pirouettes—showcasing her skills and her tutu-fitting body line as she lifts her leg to her knee, spinning around gracefully on the tips of her toes, circling around multiple times. Pirouette is the step “to turn” in ballet terms—the dancer spiraling with centered placement and alignment. The amount of turns increase as he or she develops their skill. “I still dream about it. Doing perfect turns or missing an entrance or untying my Pointe shoes,” said Rodgers with a nostalgic smile. But for Rodgers, life has not just been about turning faster and better, but also turning the page to new experiences and the realm of feminism within it.
Rodgers started her ballet career on the late side, two months from 13 years old, in New York. Catching onto the art quickly, she landed her first job by age 16 with the Washington Ballet. She then danced at the Joffrey Ballet and also the Atlanta Ballet as a soloist until she tore a tendon in her foot that forced her to take a year off from the world of dance. The Atlanta Ballet was a part of a union company—so she was given a two-year hold to take a break and rehabilitate, eventually to rejoin the company.
“I accepted the paradigms and aesthetics of ballet,” said Rodgers. “I certainly wanted my body to look like how I was told.” Rodgers aimed for the skinny waist, lack of breasts, and a bodyline that never faltered in any direction. Dancing has become a heated subject when it comes to feminism and anti-feminism because of these body demands. Rodgers never really thought about feminism and dancing while she was a ballerina, mostly because she was in tunnel-vision and understood the role as a dancer.
“I think there is a problem in ballet that so many of the choreographers are male.” Male choreographers have a different sense of body image than females. Every day, dancers struggle with body issues and the ideal look, but Rodgers hopes that this will not remain. “There’s more to it than that. I think there are ways that dance, and ballet in particular, glorifies women. George Balanchine always used to say ‘Ballet is Women.’”
Rodgers found herself drifting from the dance world and looking back on it, she believes that the pain, and questioning of the lifestyle are what drove her to quitting. “I waited tables in New York, mostly because my dad got annoyed I was watching T.V. at home,” she said with a smirk, “I met all these people who were writing and acting, and they’d all been to college. I thought they were the most interesting people I had ever met,” she said. Although Rodgers returned to ballet for a year, she was not happy, and could not fit herself back into “narrowness of that lifestyle”—it was no longer worth the body pains and diets. This propelled her to apply to college at 24-years old.
Rodgers’ interest in the arts flourished at Columbia University. “I think there is something detail-oriented about dancers that has helped influence the way that I have worked with texts and films. Especially with ballet—your hand, or all the little details you have to be aware of all the time,” Rodgers said, “I spent so much time thinking about audiences and thinking about their point of view.”
After succeeding at Columbia, Rodgers received her masters in film from the University of Michigan. “I think this is something that came out of my dance background—I’m very influenced by teachers. Like in dance, there are people that really invest in you. And I sought that out.” She worked closely with film theorist Gaylyn Studlar and her Hitchcock and Feminism class—because of the great ideas and influences she experienced with the class, she brought it to Kalamazoo College, hoping for students to find use in the topic as well.
Students flocked to her film class: “Sometime during fall quarter, I heard that this class would be offered this spring, and I cleared my schedule to make sure I could take it! I love Hitchcock and I thought it would be fascinating to study his work in general, and especially through a feminist lens,” said Laura Fox, a senior English major.
Rodgers maintains a laid-back ambiance throughout her classes. During my visit, she split the class into smaller groups so they could discuss readings and the film in more detail. Rodgers inserted herself into a group, acting as a student rather than a facilitator. The only thing that separated her was her brightly-colored floral capris that she is known for.
“Amy is so energetic that she never struggles to hold the class's focus. And while she is incredibly intelligent, she never acts as if her insights are superior to a student's. She's down-to-earth and approachable, and she truly makes learning an exciting experience,” said Fox. During the lecture, she said “Walking around is my thing,” as her vibrant pants flowed with each step.
Rodgers combines her passion of teaching and of feminism and film to encourage the class in finding the importance of this discourse and why it needs to be talked about for them. “I want them to engage with those ideas of feminism instead of just accept them,” she said.
As Rodgers has created a class to emphasize Hitchcock’s films through a feminist lens, she has also taken a step back to think about feminism as a whole throughout her lifetime. She believes that if she were dancing now, her ideas on feminism would have created a rift in her life. “You can’t think of things as oh, this is anti-feminist, this is feminist. You have to really buy into it and believe in it. Once I started questioning this belief is when I left the world [of dance]. I don’t know if those things [ballet and feminism] can be reconciled” she said. “Twenty years ago, a conversation about anti-feminism and dance wouldn’t have happened. I think it’s an important place for these conversations to happen.”
Rodgers has developed feminism not only in the realm of film, but also of theater, dance, and the arts in general. Times are turning, and Rodgers embraces it into both her past and her present life, whether focusing on film or pirouettes. She still dreams of ballet and completing more pirouettes. Rodgers said, “I hope for all to have a more creative understanding of what feminism is, what it tries to do, and where it falls short of doing that.”
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Reading Response (Week 5)
The concept of "narrative distance" really interested me because it is something that I struggle with--I never know how closely I should write or how distant--I tend to mix both together, which confuses the context and flow of my writing. "Skilled narrative writers put the reader there and let her witness it, have the experience and feel it. That's much more powerful than a secondhand version of reality" (104). I feel like I still need to work on this ability to write for the reader to feel, aka show not tell.
I also found "Remember, the ending is your destination. It is a lot easier to write the rest of the piece when you already know where you are going" (121) as an interesting quote for me. I always seem to want to change my endings even after I have written leading up to it. For me, it's harder to pick my destination then fill in the beginning and middle--while I'm really delving into the middle area, I seem to find a new angle and idea and completely change the end.
I agree with what many people have posted in that last week's reading were more captivating than this week's. It was hard for me to relate to "First Family of Astoria," even with Trillin describing Astoria as this and that and this and that. I almost felt like that is what threw me off a little--I didn't really feel like I understood what Astoria and Astorian meant. In Kidder's piece, I really enjoyed the back and forth dialogue that goes on--like in "Telling True Stories," the best dialogue is not just a quote but a conversation--and you really get the sense of that in "Memory."The end of the piece even ends with dialogue, which I think is very effective.
I also found "Remember, the ending is your destination. It is a lot easier to write the rest of the piece when you already know where you are going" (121) as an interesting quote for me. I always seem to want to change my endings even after I have written leading up to it. For me, it's harder to pick my destination then fill in the beginning and middle--while I'm really delving into the middle area, I seem to find a new angle and idea and completely change the end.
I agree with what many people have posted in that last week's reading were more captivating than this week's. It was hard for me to relate to "First Family of Astoria," even with Trillin describing Astoria as this and that and this and that. I almost felt like that is what threw me off a little--I didn't really feel like I understood what Astoria and Astorian meant. In Kidder's piece, I really enjoyed the back and forth dialogue that goes on--like in "Telling True Stories," the best dialogue is not just a quote but a conversation--and you really get the sense of that in "Memory."The end of the piece even ends with dialogue, which I think is very effective.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Feature Article for Week 5: Profile
Hey guys, don't hate me...but I changed the article I want to discuss. (It's a lot shorter though :))
It's "A Jungle of Bamboo is Growing Atop the Met" By Carol Vogel in the New York Times Art & Design Section
I had a hard time picking a good profile about a person, so I wanted to find a location profile to add to tomorrow's discussion.
I picked this article because right off the bat, the writer describes the bamboo structure and its building process in a very personal way--people listening to music known to most. Then it switches, saying that the workers look like tightrope walkers, monkeys, etc--bringing in the imagery of a circus-like frenzy. I like how Vogel focuses on the feel and the look of the structure before really getting into the details of who, what, where, when, why. I think this is a very effective opening for the piece. I feel as though describing a location is much harder to make entertaining than describing a person and their actions. So I picked this piece because it opens with a strong description to a location profile.
If you still want to read the other article:
"Food Fighter" By Nick Paumgarten
The article is on John Mackey, the co-founder and chief executive of Whole Foods Markets. I chose this article because it is a profile that not only focuses on a person but also a location. Throughout the article, both Mackey and the Whole Foods Markets themselves are described, expanding on a sort of "father-child" relationship. Mackey treats Whole Foods as his child, his mind, his life--so it is only fitting that the article embodies profiles of both himself and his creation.
In terms of Mackey, Paumgarten describes his character and his passion for his chain of stores in a devoted and fatherly manner. As he describes Mackey, he also does a great job of describing the Whole Foods chain and its effect on the public. The relationship between Mackey and Whole Foods is developed as well as the relationship between Whole Foods and the public. Paumgarten delves deeper into Whole Foods and how communities have come to accept, reject, judge, and identify with it.
I just really enjoyed how Paumgarten showed Mackey's success and Whole Food's success developing together--along with public involvement as well.
It's "A Jungle of Bamboo is Growing Atop the Met" By Carol Vogel in the New York Times Art & Design Section
I had a hard time picking a good profile about a person, so I wanted to find a location profile to add to tomorrow's discussion.
I picked this article because right off the bat, the writer describes the bamboo structure and its building process in a very personal way--people listening to music known to most. Then it switches, saying that the workers look like tightrope walkers, monkeys, etc--bringing in the imagery of a circus-like frenzy. I like how Vogel focuses on the feel and the look of the structure before really getting into the details of who, what, where, when, why. I think this is a very effective opening for the piece. I feel as though describing a location is much harder to make entertaining than describing a person and their actions. So I picked this piece because it opens with a strong description to a location profile.
If you still want to read the other article:
"Food Fighter" By Nick Paumgarten
The article is on John Mackey, the co-founder and chief executive of Whole Foods Markets. I chose this article because it is a profile that not only focuses on a person but also a location. Throughout the article, both Mackey and the Whole Foods Markets themselves are described, expanding on a sort of "father-child" relationship. Mackey treats Whole Foods as his child, his mind, his life--so it is only fitting that the article embodies profiles of both himself and his creation.
In terms of Mackey, Paumgarten describes his character and his passion for his chain of stores in a devoted and fatherly manner. As he describes Mackey, he also does a great job of describing the Whole Foods chain and its effect on the public. The relationship between Mackey and Whole Foods is developed as well as the relationship between Whole Foods and the public. Paumgarten delves deeper into Whole Foods and how communities have come to accept, reject, judge, and identify with it.
I just really enjoyed how Paumgarten showed Mackey's success and Whole Food's success developing together--along with public involvement as well.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Personal Piece Rewrite
Host Mom’s Grade School Classroom
I sat uncomfortably on the sole wooden chair in the kitchen—my back straight, my legs pasted together, my hands in my lap. Nodding continuously, I stared at the white wall in between my host mother and the digital clock that told me how long she had been talking to me. I mumbled “oui” every once in awhile to make sure that she thought I was paying attention. I was trapped in an elementary school classroom.
From September first to January 18th, I studied abroad in Strasbourg, France. The eleven of us in the group were placed with separate host families, and within the first few hours in the city, students were driven away to their new home. I was the last one standing. Instead of a welcoming pick-up, I boarded a taxi that navigated me to my apartment where my host mother stood in front of the building—a 50-year old, single mother with graying hair and cigarette-stained teeth.
“Je m’appelle Marina.”
“Simone,” she said with no hello, nice to meet you, or welcome.
She grabbed one of my overweight suitcases and started to drag it to the elevator. She muttered in French. Seeing her discontent with my overabundance of luggage, I tried to say something to lighten the mood.
“Désolée. J’ai beaucoup de choses. C’est très...” I paused.
“I’m sorry. I have a lot of things. It is very…what is the word for heavy,” I thought to myself, “An easy word.”
I asked her what the word for “heavy” was. Her snappy response shaped the rest of my home-stay experience: I don’t speak a lick of English. I can’t help you.
I knew that my time abroad would be centered on the French language and culture. I tried my hardest to speak to my host mother, but I was always laughed at or yelled at for my mistakes—I dreaded communication with her. My goal became to converse with her as if I were her friend, not a child in her nursery school program that she ran from home.
Venturing through Strasbourg, I picked up on more of the language—chit-chatting with market vendors, buying new phone credit, discussing colors at a clothing store—I knew it wasn’t my skill that was the problem, it was my host mother. After thriving through hours of flourishing flower shops, scent-filled patisseries, and trendy Fashion stores, I would return to my host mother’s classroom, surrounded by crying babies and lectures. She even made me fill out a schedule board; apples and pencils drawn around the border. She made me repeat aloud.
“Be back by 7 o’clock every night for dinner. If you are not going to be home, call me,” she spat as she pointed at the schedule.
“Okay, I understand. 7 o’clock,” I said.
“Non, non. Répèter!” she screamed.
I repeated word-for-word what she had just explained to me. She waited for me to make a mistake; then when I did, she snickered and belittled me, saying she knew I didn’t understand.
I tolerated her attacks. I would lock myself into my room, keeping back tears just in case she entered with another one-sided battle. For months, I let her treat me like one of her nursery children—allowing her to give me curfews, and adolescent rules—all things forbidden by the program.
One night, I sat in my room, minding my own business, when she stormed in with a trashcan in her hand.
“You use too much toilet paper and tissues!” she screamed at me.
“Okay, I understand. I will not use so much anymore.”
She continued screaming. She stuck her hand deep into the trashcan and pulled out used pieces of tissue and waved it in my face.
“Trop, trop!” I saw her white, curly-q covered dog whimpering in the corner. The dog and I related to each other.
I started to fall into my usual method—staring back at that white wall, watching the clock tick, waiting for class time to be over.
“Pourquoi ne tu comprends pas!?” she yelled, “Why don’t you understand!?”
I screamed back. I raised my voice to her level. I retaliated for all of the times she had lectured me—“You treat me like a child. When I say I understand, I understand. I do as I please. You have no right to treat me this way.”
She walked out of the room to put the trashcan away. I slammed the door behind her.
“Don’t close the door when I’m talking to you,” she stormed in.
“I will respect you when you respect me…I am waiting,” I sneered back, closing the door again.
After this screaming match, my host mother gave me more space and started to take my word; I think mostly because she was stunned that I defended myself. We did not like each other, but we did not dislike each other either. I finally got her respect. I felt that I could communicate.
The battle finally ended. My host mother thought she won—she made me walk my two 50-pound suitcases (luggage that started this whole mess) to the bus station by myself at five in the morning before my flight back to America. Guess what, Simone…I’m not a child and I made it by myself, with 15 minutes to spare.
I sat uncomfortably on the sole wooden chair in the kitchen—my back straight, my legs pasted together, my hands in my lap. Nodding continuously, I stared at the white wall in between my host mother and the digital clock that told me how long she had been talking to me. I mumbled “oui” every once in awhile to make sure that she thought I was paying attention. I was trapped in an elementary school classroom.
From September first to January 18th, I studied abroad in Strasbourg, France. The eleven of us in the group were placed with separate host families, and within the first few hours in the city, students were driven away to their new home. I was the last one standing. Instead of a welcoming pick-up, I boarded a taxi that navigated me to my apartment where my host mother stood in front of the building—a 50-year old, single mother with graying hair and cigarette-stained teeth.
“Je m’appelle Marina.”
“Simone,” she said with no hello, nice to meet you, or welcome.
She grabbed one of my overweight suitcases and started to drag it to the elevator. She muttered in French. Seeing her discontent with my overabundance of luggage, I tried to say something to lighten the mood.
“Désolée. J’ai beaucoup de choses. C’est très...” I paused.
“I’m sorry. I have a lot of things. It is very…what is the word for heavy,” I thought to myself, “An easy word.”
I asked her what the word for “heavy” was. Her snappy response shaped the rest of my home-stay experience: I don’t speak a lick of English. I can’t help you.
I knew that my time abroad would be centered on the French language and culture. I tried my hardest to speak to my host mother, but I was always laughed at or yelled at for my mistakes—I dreaded communication with her. My goal became to converse with her as if I were her friend, not a child in her nursery school program that she ran from home.
Venturing through Strasbourg, I picked up on more of the language—chit-chatting with market vendors, buying new phone credit, discussing colors at a clothing store—I knew it wasn’t my skill that was the problem, it was my host mother. After thriving through hours of flourishing flower shops, scent-filled patisseries, and trendy Fashion stores, I would return to my host mother’s classroom, surrounded by crying babies and lectures. She even made me fill out a schedule board; apples and pencils drawn around the border. She made me repeat aloud.
“Be back by 7 o’clock every night for dinner. If you are not going to be home, call me,” she spat as she pointed at the schedule.
“Okay, I understand. 7 o’clock,” I said.
“Non, non. Répèter!” she screamed.
I repeated word-for-word what she had just explained to me. She waited for me to make a mistake; then when I did, she snickered and belittled me, saying she knew I didn’t understand.
I tolerated her attacks. I would lock myself into my room, keeping back tears just in case she entered with another one-sided battle. For months, I let her treat me like one of her nursery children—allowing her to give me curfews, and adolescent rules—all things forbidden by the program.
One night, I sat in my room, minding my own business, when she stormed in with a trashcan in her hand.
“You use too much toilet paper and tissues!” she screamed at me.
“Okay, I understand. I will not use so much anymore.”
She continued screaming. She stuck her hand deep into the trashcan and pulled out used pieces of tissue and waved it in my face.
“Trop, trop!” I saw her white, curly-q covered dog whimpering in the corner. The dog and I related to each other.
I started to fall into my usual method—staring back at that white wall, watching the clock tick, waiting for class time to be over.
“Pourquoi ne tu comprends pas!?” she yelled, “Why don’t you understand!?”
I screamed back. I raised my voice to her level. I retaliated for all of the times she had lectured me—“You treat me like a child. When I say I understand, I understand. I do as I please. You have no right to treat me this way.”
She walked out of the room to put the trashcan away. I slammed the door behind her.
“Don’t close the door when I’m talking to you,” she stormed in.
“I will respect you when you respect me…I am waiting,” I sneered back, closing the door again.
After this screaming match, my host mother gave me more space and started to take my word; I think mostly because she was stunned that I defended myself. We did not like each other, but we did not dislike each other either. I finally got her respect. I felt that I could communicate.
The battle finally ended. My host mother thought she won—she made me walk my two 50-pound suitcases (luggage that started this whole mess) to the bus station by myself at five in the morning before my flight back to America. Guess what, Simone…I’m not a child and I made it by myself, with 15 minutes to spare.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Reading Response (Week 4)
I really enjoyed Susan Orlean's "The American Man at Age Ten." Not only does she use descriptive imagery to describe herself and Colin Duffy, but she succeeds in intertwining both characters, effectively shoeing herself into a ten year old's world. Right off the bat, she succeeded in this integration: "We would wear shorts, big sneakers, and long baggy T-shirts depicting famous athletes every single day, even in the winter. We would sleep in our clothes." She continues with the "we"s to really emphasize their connection and the world they are in together.
Another effective tactic that Orlean used well was dialogue. The back and forth conversations between her and Colin added to their closeness and how well it was portrayed. "Who's the coolest person in the world? Morgan Freeman...Who's the coolest woman?" etc. These daily chit-chats draw the reader in even more to their world.
Another effective tactic that Orlean used well was dialogue. The back and forth conversations between her and Colin added to their closeness and how well it was portrayed. "Who's the coolest person in the world? Morgan Freeman...Who's the coolest woman?" etc. These daily chit-chats draw the reader in even more to their world.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Profile Pitch (Week 4)
For my profile piece, I am writing about Amy Rodgers, an English professor at Kalamazoo College. She is a new professor this year—teaching Shakespeare and film.
My story on Amy is going to focus on her switch between her ballet days to her teaching career. She was a ballerina at the Joffery Ballet, and then went back to school for English and teaching. I am going to focusing on why she made the switch. She is a lively Shakespeare teacher, and I would like to research what kind of dancer she was—just as lively and vibrant? Completely different? English and writing are an art form, as is ballet dancing—I will find out how they conflicted and complimented each other.
I have personal access to Amy Rodgers for she is a professor at Kalamazoo College. I would like to research her time at the Joffery Ballet through her perspective. I have already talked to her and she has agreed to let me write this piece. I will also interview students and professors to see what they think of her and her teaching. She is currently teaching a film class so I can get a media student’s perspective as well as a Shakespeare-concentrator’s perspective.
I am the right person to right this story because I have two of the same interests as Amy—writing and dance. I wrote my entire creative non-fiction SIP on dance and ballet so I relate to her with the art of both movement and writing. I have been dancing for most of my life—and writing about it is one of the things I do best. I’ve also been interested in writing and English for all of college. Because of these things, I can focus on both aspects of Amy’s life in a deeper way.
My story on Amy is going to focus on her switch between her ballet days to her teaching career. She was a ballerina at the Joffery Ballet, and then went back to school for English and teaching. I am going to focusing on why she made the switch. She is a lively Shakespeare teacher, and I would like to research what kind of dancer she was—just as lively and vibrant? Completely different? English and writing are an art form, as is ballet dancing—I will find out how they conflicted and complimented each other.
I have personal access to Amy Rodgers for she is a professor at Kalamazoo College. I would like to research her time at the Joffery Ballet through her perspective. I have already talked to her and she has agreed to let me write this piece. I will also interview students and professors to see what they think of her and her teaching. She is currently teaching a film class so I can get a media student’s perspective as well as a Shakespeare-concentrator’s perspective.
I am the right person to right this story because I have two of the same interests as Amy—writing and dance. I wrote my entire creative non-fiction SIP on dance and ballet so I relate to her with the art of both movement and writing. I have been dancing for most of my life—and writing about it is one of the things I do best. I’ve also been interested in writing and English for all of college. Because of these things, I can focus on both aspects of Amy’s life in a deeper way.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Reading Response To "Writing for Story" (Week 3)
For me, the most interesting idea was definitely the "Outline" chapter that Marin told us to read thoroughly. I read this chapter first, which made it even more interesting, because then I read from the beginning and really thought about the storyline and the process Franklin may have taken to write his chapters. Outlines begin the writing process--"the outline level is by far the most abstract of the three and yet, in a certain sense, the most straightforward" 101). In this section, the most important thing I noticed was the structure of outlining in general. Writing many papers before, my outlines have consisted of the usual: intro, paragraph 1, 2, 3, conclusion, etc. But after reading this chapter, I see the importance of relating the action with the resolution. With what Franklin was saying, we should be able to pick that "one word" (as we discussed in class) to sum up our writing. Devotion, or guilt, or personal growth--an outline should be clear enough to pick this one word and main focus. I had never thought of an outline like this before, and it will definitely help in future writings and editing.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Response to Claire's "The Weight of One Strand of Hair"
First, you described Victorians class very well. As I was reading, I was instantly thinking back to class time and what everyone’s reactions were to “what’s your way in?” I liked how you started with this to open toward your main idea/theme of your piece. It’s a great anecdote that transitions into your story in France very well. I really enjoyed your piece because I can definitely relate—indecision on beliefs, questioning religions, and of course European parties and creepers. But I also feel like someone who wasn’t also in France or Europe could easily read this and relate and/or understand where you’re coming from. It was very genuinely written. All of your personal anecdotes drew me in—the Victorian’s class to France to mass to family dinner. The question of religion is something that a lot of people struggle with, and by using your experiences, you made this broad idea very personal and unique, and I liked that.
Response to Joel's "Catching the 6:45"
I definitely related to your story. I don’t know how many times I ended up running onto a train, or freaking out because I was an hour away from the city, or having to pay 2039 euros for a cab to my hostel because I had no idea where I landed. I could definitely sense the chaos and sense of urgency when reading your piece. You could tell that this was a new experience for you and why it mattered.
I would have liked to read more imagery. Although your hours of getting ready, riding every single mode of transportation available, and panicking were centered on chaos, it would be nice to read something about the scene and such. As you were all over the place and stressed out, was everything else calm or a blur or just as chaos-like? If you added more imagery, it would step back from the “I did this, then this, then this, then this.” Besides that, I enjoyed reading your piece—it brought me back to the good ole days.
PS…remember that one time you were randomly in our hostel room in Rome? The chaos of European traveling definitely preceded that.
I would have liked to read more imagery. Although your hours of getting ready, riding every single mode of transportation available, and panicking were centered on chaos, it would be nice to read something about the scene and such. As you were all over the place and stressed out, was everything else calm or a blur or just as chaos-like? If you added more imagery, it would step back from the “I did this, then this, then this, then this.” Besides that, I enjoyed reading your piece—it brought me back to the good ole days.
PS…remember that one time you were randomly in our hostel room in Rome? The chaos of European traveling definitely preceded that.
Response to Anna's "Eva"
I really liked the structure of your story—how everything flowed, especially going into the end, and the idea of the “light” connecting the entire piece. The paragraph where Eva is speaking to the audience was interesting to read. It really kept me into the story. But at the same time the repetition of incomplete sentences kind of threw me off. I realize it was probably for a stylistic reason, but perhaps it could flow a little bit better into it. Also, how did these things she was saying make you feel?
I would also have liked to read more imagery. I really enjoyed the part where you say “A5272” was etched on your arm and how you were standing in a flesh-colored bra, etc. That part really drew me in because it was something that I had never felt or gone through and you the description connects us to your event.
Overall, I really liked your piece and the topic you chose. With the dialogue, your mother’s presence, and the scene at the end, you can definitely tell that this is something that resonates with you and is something that was an important “turning point” for you.
I would also have liked to read more imagery. I really enjoyed the part where you say “A5272” was etched on your arm and how you were standing in a flesh-colored bra, etc. That part really drew me in because it was something that I had never felt or gone through and you the description connects us to your event.
Overall, I really liked your piece and the topic you chose. With the dialogue, your mother’s presence, and the scene at the end, you can definitely tell that this is something that resonates with you and is something that was an important “turning point” for you.
Response to Munirah's Piece
I could definitely tell that your topic is something really important to you. Your perfectionism was related not just to schoolwork but other things in your everyday life too—like basketball, practice, etc. You could go even more in depth with that. By emphasizing this more in each activity, I could better see how you eventually evolve as well. You stated in your writing process response that you really struggled to find a good topic, but I can see how this one will turn into something meaningful. I look forward to hearing the different twist that you already have in mind.
I would like if you added more about basketball toward the end of the narrative. I know you and basketball are great friends, so it’d be nice to see you go back to that and explain how that has also developed. I also would enjoy reading more specific, personal anecdotes. You mention basketball at the beginning and do a great job of explaining the settings, but it would help if you added why these things are relevant to you. (ie a specific event at Kalamazoo that made you realize you were changing, or a time at your small school that made you think differently).
I would like if you added more about basketball toward the end of the narrative. I know you and basketball are great friends, so it’d be nice to see you go back to that and explain how that has also developed. I also would enjoy reading more specific, personal anecdotes. You mention basketball at the beginning and do a great job of explaining the settings, but it would help if you added why these things are relevant to you. (ie a specific event at Kalamazoo that made you realize you were changing, or a time at your small school that made you think differently).
Monday, April 5, 2010
Writing Process for Assignment 1
One of the biggest challenges for me was staying within the 850-900 word limit. I kept writing and writing, and by the time I finished I was over 1,000 words and had to go through multiple times and cut out large sections of writing. As it was a challenge, it was also one of the most beneficial things. It made my piece much more concise and I realized that a lot of what I was writing was unnecessary.
Another challenge was writing effective dialogue. It was hard to decide whether to write in French or English or both, and which would be most effective. My host mom could only speak French, so it seemed logical to write her speaking in French. But at the same time, what she was saying to me was just as important because it was so demeaning. Because not everyone can understand French, I chose English translations for these specific lines.
Breakthrough-wise: I realized I am still bitter with my host mom. But also find it hilarious how much of an a-hole she was. It was fun to try and capture this through writing, and realize I still have a lot of work to do in order to really show how much she sucked.
Another challenge was writing effective dialogue. It was hard to decide whether to write in French or English or both, and which would be most effective. My host mom could only speak French, so it seemed logical to write her speaking in French. But at the same time, what she was saying to me was just as important because it was so demeaning. Because not everyone can understand French, I chose English translations for these specific lines.
Breakthrough-wise: I realized I am still bitter with my host mom. But also find it hilarious how much of an a-hole she was. It was fun to try and capture this through writing, and realize I still have a lot of work to do in order to really show how much she sucked.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Assignment #1: Personal Journalism
"Host Mom & 'Lourde' Luggage"
I sat uncomfortably on the sole wooden chair in the kitchen—my back straight, my legs pasted together, my hands in my lap. I nodded continuously while staring at the white wall in between my host mother and the digital clock that told me how long she had been talking at me. I mumbled “oui” every once in awhile to make sure that she thought I was paying attention. I was trapped in an elementary school classroom.
From September 1st to January 18th, I studied abroad in Strasbourg, France. The eleven of us in the group were placed with separate host families. Students were driven away to their new home. I was the last one standing. Instead of a welcoming pick-up, I boarded a taxi that navigated me to my apartment. My host mother stood in front of the apartment—a 50-year old, single mother with graying hair and cigarette-stained teeth.
“Je m’appelle Marina.”
“Simone,” she said with no hello, nice to meet you, or welcome.
She grabbed one of my overweight suitcases and started to drag it to the elevator. She muttered in French. Seeing her discontent with my overabundance of luggage, I tried to say something to lighten the mood.
“D’ésolée. J’ai beaucoup de choses. C’est trés...” I paused.
“I’m sorry. I have a lot of things. It is very…what is the word for heavy,” I thought to myself, “An easy word.”
I asked her what the word for “heavy” was. Her snappy response shaped the rest of my home-stay experience: I don’t speak a lick of English.
I knew that my time abroad would be centered on the French language and culture. I was not as prepared for this as I thought. I struggled speaking to my host mother, and I dreaded it each day. But if there was one thing that I wanted from study abroad, it was the ability to communicate in my own way.
Venturing through Strasbourg, I began to pick up on more of the language. At the markets, I would make small talk with vendors, ending with praise and for my French skills. But when I returned back to my host mother’s presence, my high from the day would disappear.
My host mother was not encouraging or helpful in the slightest. She patronizingly laughed at my mistakes. The worst was that she did not believe me if I told her that I comprehended something. She made me repeat back to her as if I were a child.
“Be back by 7 o’clock every night for dinner. If you are not going to be home, call me. On Saturdays, let me know by Friday night,” she spat.
“Okay, I understand. 7 o’clock,” I said.
“Non, non. Répèter!” she screamed.
I repeated word-for-word what she had just explained to me. She waited for me to make a mistake; then when I did, she snickered and belittled me, saying she knew I didn’t understand.
How could I get over the language barrier if all I heard was mocking laughter? I took her attacks. I would lock myself into my room, keeping back tears just in case she entered with another one-sided battle.
For months, I let her treat me like one of her nursery children—allowing her to give me curfews, and adolescent rules—all things forbidden by the program. I tolerated demeaning conversations.
I finally erupted. I sat in my freezing room, finishing up homework, when she stormed in with a trashcan in her hand.
“You use too much toilet paper and tissues!” she screamed at me.
“Okay, I understand. I will not use so much anymore.”
“NO! You use too much!” she continued screaming. But this time, she stuck her hand deep into the trashcan and pulled out used pieces of tissue and waved it in my face.
“Trop, trop!” I saw her white, curly-q covered dog whimpering in the corner. I was sure she knew how I felt because she also got scolded when she did not behave. The dog and I related to each other.
I started to fall into my usual method—staring back at that white wall, watching the clock tick.
“Pourquoi ne tu comprends pas!?” she yelled, “Why don’t you understand!?”
I lost it. I screamed back. I raised my voice to her level. I retaliated for all of the times she had lectured me—“You treat me like a child. When I say I understand, I understand. I do as I please. You have no right to treat me this way…I have no desire to talk to you.”
She walked out of the room to put the trashcan away. I slammed the door behind her.
“Don’t close the door when I’m talking to you,” she stormed in.
“Oh, I thought you were done telling me things I already know,” I sneered back.
After this screaming match, my host mother gave me more space and started to take my word. We did not like each other, but we did not dislike each other either. I finally got her respect. I felt that I could communicate.
The battle finally ended. My host mother thought she won—she made me walk my two 50-pound suitcases (luggage that started this whole mess) to the bus station by myself at five in the morning. But guess what, Simone…I’m not a child and I made it by myself, with 15 minutes to spare.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)